Malled: My Unintentional Career In Retail (2011) - Plot & Excerpts
3:59 pm (1 minute before closing): Woman in nice car pulls into parking lot4:02 (now technically closed): Woman walks into store with her giant purse and cheerily says hello to everyone, asks where our Christmas cacti are4:05: comes back with Christmas cactus, decides she wants a different cactus, begins to go back to cactus room but becomes sidetracked by plant at register. "Does this need watered often?" she asks4:06: Comes back with other Christmas cactus, ready to check out4:07: Almost done checking out. She says, "My husband said you would be closed, but I knew he was wrong!" Co-worker and I exchange knowing glance. My eyes move towards a whaling club that is for some reason hanging on the wall and which co-worker is standing next to. "Do it," my eyes say. Co-worker takes club off of wall and slowly approaching behind back of customer.4:08: Customer now unconscious on floor of store. "Get a tarp from the store room," someone says.4:10: Co-worker #2 returns with tarp. Pulse is checked and comes back negative. The body is taken to the break room.4:11: Heated argument among co-workers in attempt to decide what to do. Co-worker #2 panics and becomes hysterical. Co-worker #1 dramatically slaps co-worker #2 and shouts to keep herself together. I pensively eat a granola bar.4:19: We have a plan. After checking that the coast is clear, body is taken in tarp to trunk of co-worker #2's car. There is difficulty shutting the trunk.4:24: Sun begins to set. The three of us start driving northbound on Highway 69. There is silence in the car.5:37: We reach the heart of Walnut Woods State Park. Shovels are distributed and digging begins.6:21: Now pitch-black. Working by the light of the moon, an eight-foot grave is dug.6:25: Co-worker #1, co-worker #2 and I draw straws. Co-worker #1 draws short straw and retrieves body from trunk, places in grave. A short prayer is said but it is insincere. Burial commences.7:48: State trooper car drives by nearby road. Everyone stands completely still without breathing. Car passes without incident.9:02: Burial is slowed by cold weather and bickering between co-workers.10:37: Grave is finished. Twigs and leaves are gathered and used to conceal the grave.10:40: Drive back to Des Moines begins.11:57: Return to store.11:58: A vow of silence is taken. Co-workers #1 and #2 leave in respective vehicles.11:59: I stand in silence behind the store. The moon is out but its light illuminates only concrete in all directions. A flat ocean of concrete. I watch my breath freeze in the cold and I have never been so aware of the beating of my own heart.12:00: A bell in a nearby church chimes midnight. I vibrate with the sound which is absorbed by the concrete as soil soaks up water. There is the feeling of fate being inescapable.4:07: I am startled from my reverie by the sound of the door shutting behind the customer. Her heels are audibly clacking outside and she shifts her massive purse on her shoulder. "Closing time," someone says, and it sounds distant like from underwater. While anyone who has actually worked in retail, myself included, would have trouble coming up with any sympathy for Caitlin Kelly (the poor thing had to work ONE WHOLE SHIFT per week), her main points about the nature of retail should not be invalidated. As an outsider, she had a very different perspective than those stuck in the trenches. I certainly feel that EVERYONE should be mandated to read her chapter, "Customers From Hell". While she does repeat herself constantly, which is rather annoying, it's a breezy read and well worth the time for anyone who thinks that not getting the shoes/coat/dress they want equals the worst thing that could possibly happen to them.
What do You think about Malled: My Unintentional Career In Retail (2011)?
Newly unemployed journalist Caitlin Kelly spends two years working in a mall at The North Face.
—faheem
Boring, going on and on about stuff I don't care to know. Didn't even finish reading.
—hai_stefan951
A must read for anyone in retail. Been there, done that!
—babydill
