It took me a second before I realized what he was talking about. We were picking up the dropped pieces of wood, and when I realized it, I sighed in realization. “Ah. Well. Ummm.” I picked up the last piece and stood up thinking. What did I used to wish for? And then, as if I ran into a brick wall, it hit me. All those years. All those years, I had wished that Sean would recognize me as more than just a friend. That he would notice me and maybe want to be with me. I felt that same pang of guilt that I’d felt when Sarah was talking to me earlier. It wasn’t about Sean, and me wronging him. It was about Lance, and the fact that it wasn’t fair to him that I had feelings for someone else. “Ya’ know. The usual things. Clothes, toys, those kinds of things,” I said lightly, trying to hide the dismay I felt. With guilt rising in my gut, I pushed my epiphany deep down inside. I couldn’t deal with it right now. It was too late into our plans to come to a conclusion like that. Undoubtedly, I would have to deal with it later.
