Parson’s didn’t want to overwhelm me so I haven’t worked since my first day. I’m on the schedule for tonight though, which is Saturday. So, not only will I be working on a day when it is super busy, but I’ll also be working with Knox for the first time. I haven’t seen or talked to him since the day I stood Tate up. I thought it would get easier to forget about him as more time went by. I was wrong. I can’t seem to get into my bed at night without fantasizing about him gently gripping my hair, kissing my neck, and slowly undressing me. We’ve had sex in my mind so many times it isn’t even funny. My nights usually end with me feeling overwhelmingly guilty for not thinking about Mom enough and calling her phone to leave her a voicemail where I’m sobbing so hard that she probably wouldn’t understand it even if she could somehow hear the message. Something about being able to still hear her voice comforts me though and I manage to drift off to sleep. But today is a new day and all that bullshit that everybody keeps force feeding me.
