Revolting Youth: The Further Journals Of Nick Twisp (2000) - Plot & Excerpts
I’ve simply been too busy coping with the distractions of sudden wealth to write in my journal. It’s fortunate for New England asceticism that Henry Thoreau didn’t win big in the stock market while camping out at Walden Pond. Like me, Hank would probably be making countless expeditions with his future Trophy Wife (Sheeni Saunders) to the big city (Santa Rosa, California) in search of luxurious household furnishings for his rented bachelor digs. Carlotta Ulansky (my 14-year-old feminine alter ego) is inclined toward the comfortably overstuffed, but Sheeni insists on the rigorously tasteful. She has replaced Granny DeFalco’s spine-crunching old couch with a sinuous sofa of hand-woven wool (color: eviscerated celadon) fashioned by brooding, socially conscious Finns. Upon this taut perch this afternoon we successfully performed our 31st act of sexual union. Now a casually tossed mauve linen pillow conceals a small, telltale moist spot. For the sake of statistical texture in my future autobiography—tentatively titled Nick Dillinger Unmasked—I’ve decided to keep a running total of my sexual experiences (excepting only solo acts, already too numerous to count).
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