Hayden feels sorry.The only reason Hayden’s still withyou. And my favorite: Thinking aboutBJs is as good as giving them.She can’t be right about Haydenwanting to break up with me,can she? We’d had a few blowups,but nothing major, and after Luke . . .Things did get better. I’m not surehow I would have survived the painwithout her. She propped me upat the funeral. Talked me throughthe depression, the immense guiltI assigned myself. Now I hear JudahYou can’t rightly blame anyone else.Suicide . . . weakness . . . homosexual behavior . . .How long has Hayden been confidingsecrets to Judah? Was he her confessorbefore what happened? Did he haveanything to do with her wanting tobreak up with me? Is she ready to dothat now? Because I won’t let her.I sneak my cell from my pocket, textcarefully, under the desk, so as not to bedetected using contraband technologyin class: SORRY IF I EMBARRASSED YOUTODAY. FORGIVE MY BOORISH BEHAVIOR?CAN I SEE YOU TONIGHT? WE NEED TO TALK.Her return text comes late in the day.AREN’T YOU SICK OF ASKING FORFORGIVENESS?
