dragged himself out of bed and stumbled to the front door."How'd you get here so fast?" he asked Millicent Winship."Chartered a jet plane. Now open the door."With fake cheer, Duane Scrod Sr. welcomed his mother-in-law into the house. She almost knocked him down as she whisked past. There was not a wrinkle to be seen in her elegant gray pants suit, nor one silver hair out of place on her head."Did you sleep in that stupid hat?" she asked."I guess." Duane Sr. was more worried about her reaction to his NASCAR boxer shorts.Mrs. Winship scowled and looked away. "Go put on some pants, for heaven's sake. And keep that awful parrot away from me or I'll pluck her bald.""Millie, she's not a parrot. She's a macaw.""A nuisance is what she is. Hurry up."Duane Scrod Sr. pulled on some blue jeans and wrestled Nadine into her cage. When he returned to the living room, Mrs. Winship was waiting with folded arms."So my grandson is now a fugitive," she said. "I got the whole ugly story from the headmaster.
