She’d fingered it surreptitiously, testing its size and tenderness, whenever Steve turned away during her clean up.Really her whole body ached, even inside. Fear that something was wrong in her belly managed to penetrate the residue of shocked numbness. But she had no time to think even of that.Steve laid her on the bed and replaced the metal suit. He slid a sterile field under her hips and set a metal tray filled with small implements beside her. She didn’t bother to look and, as if in substantiation of her indifference, he spoke flatly, as usual. “I’m going to insert a catheter now.”She no longer flinched when he manipulated her genitals, was no longer even humiliated. Just more deadening indignity to add to the rest. She stared blankly at the ceiling and dully felt him spread her vaginal walls and slide the plastic tubing into her urethra. He turned away and did something on the metal tray.When he turned back his voice held something different. A touch of remorse? The thought sent chills of terror racing through her.
