Edna and I could not agree and Dan simply refused to discuss the issue any further. He called Birk and set the meeting for the following Tuesday. The six days between were a special torture for me. Aside from the sheer mechanics of avoiding Edna, and even Dan, my waking hours were filled with soul searching. The matter had grown so complex. The greatest issue on my mind was my own perception of the problem. Was I being hopelessly idealistic? The line between tilting at windmills and standing up for one’s ethical beliefs was so fine. At the same time I dreaded the descent into cynicism so many of my colleagues termed simply professionalism. I was growing tired too. This made the urge to give up or give in much stronger than it had been. I kept thinking of such things as having Lori transferred. Maybe some other teacher at some other school could teach her the things Edna and I had failed to. When I thought about it, I knew it was untrue but I was becoming too tired to care. The meanest thought to go through my head during those days was whether or not Lori was worth this.
