Sophomores And Other Oxymorons (2015) - Plot & Excerpts
Sean had been more quiet than usual during the night, so I’d gotten some uninterrupted high-quality sleep. Dad was in the garage. Mom was midway between us, in the living room, when the phone rang. Mom’s shriek brought both ambulatory males running at full speed. I grabbed my baseball bat on my way out of the room. Dad was a bit closer, but I had gravity on my side as far as clearing the stairs, so we reached the living room at about the same time. Upon arrival, we both slid to a stop and contemplated my mom/his wife sitting there with a huge smile on her face and a phone in her hand. Based on the scream, I’d have anticipated the presence, at the very least, of an enormous spider, or a deeply evil person wearing a hockey mask and brandishing some form of bloodstained cutting tool. The fact that Dad was clutching a hammer provided one more bit of evidence that we were a lot alike on the inside. Mom spoke, nodded, spoke, squealed, then finally noticed the hovering protectors.
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