Sorry I Peed On You (and Other Heartwarming Letters To Mommy) (2011) - Plot & Excerpts
I see you trying to ignore me and acting all calm and patient. But just wait; all I’ve done so far is scream at the top of my lungs. That’s a stage 1 tantrum. If you keep pretending the world isn’t coming to an end, I’ll take my tantrum up to stage 2: foot stomping and screaming. If you say, “But Sydney, dear, it’s time for dinner,” you’d better find a bench to crawl under, because you’ll then be caught in the eye of a stage 3 tantrum, which involves collapsing on the ground, kicking and punching dirt, and my patented scryming—a unique blend of screaming and crying. Stage 3 tantrums are very rare, but since I missed my nap and wouldn’t eat my lunch, the chances for a catastrophic toddler event are very high. Your only hope of averting disaster is to let me stay outside. Even then, I’m really tired, so I might explode anyway. Actually, do we have any cookies? I’m kind of hungry, Mommy.
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