After Dennis left us Friday afternoon, we had a low-key weekend, preferring to hang at the condo and decorate for Christmas. We were both somehow able to put all the craziness of our plot against JT aside, and instead concentrate on invoking some holiday spirit. This will be my first Christmas with a girlfriend. It’s Sela’s first with a boyfriend. Two souls who have preferred to be alone for holidays past, now bonded through circumstance, passion, and a focused need for revenge. I’m not sure if that’s the stuff that love is built upon, but I know that watching Sela set out her mom’s nutcrackers with a fond smile on her face, or helping her cut out sugar cookies that we later burned and still ate anyway, filled me with a satisfaction and warm happiness I’ve never felt before. For the entire weekend we transformed the condo into a Christmas wonderland, ate takeout and burned cookies, and fucked—or maybe we made love, I’m not sure—like two people starving for a connection.
