As the spring came, I waddled down to the playground with Ethel and the boys after Ethel picked John up from school. Most days, David was silent and sullen, and I had to drag him along. He’d gotten worse again since that morning he’d spoken, since that morning Jake had left our apartment. And we’d heard nothing from Jake. But I kept telling myself that in the summer, after the baby was born, everything would change. Everything would get better, as Ethel had said. I wanted so badly for her to be right. Ethel began to talk more and more about Mexico as if now it were a fantasy just within her reach. I envied the way it felt so real to her in the way that escaping with Jake did not yet feel real to me. Ethel told me Julie had checked with the doctor about the shots they might need and she worried about how the boys would react, but she’d scheduled their appointments anyway. And then she made appointments to get passport photos. “You’re really going, aren’t you?”
