It always was. As soon as he was onboard, Shaw was almost overcome by a rush of relief that fought with the adrenaline still coursing through his system. He felt like his heart could discover its regular rhythm for the first time in months, if he let it. He felt like his muscles could relax at last, his eyes could close, and his brain could switch off, if he let them. He could breathe again. He didn’t have to be that guy for a while, and his whole body sagged with gratitude. Thank Christ, Shaw breathed, thank Christ. He hadn’t realized how heavy the weight of his fear was until it was lifted from him. He’d suppressed it for too long.His body shook, now that it had the chance. He sat in the sickbay with a blanket around his shoulders, his heels beating a tattoo on the side of the examination bed.Thank Christ.When the medical officer cleared him, Shaw made the call to Callie.“I’m okay,” he said. It took all his concentration to run through what had happened. He was tired. He wanted sleep.
