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Read The Klone And I (1999)

The Klone and I (1999)

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Rating
2.98 of 5 Votes: 1
Your rating
ISBN
0440225698 (ISBN13: 9780440225690)
Language
English
Publisher
dell

The Klone And I (1999) - Plot & Excerpts

I used to read Danielle Steel when I was 13 and 14. By 15, I was onto her and over her. She wrote very formulaically and she was also a dork, the latter being less forgivable to a highschool sophomore. While on my honeymoon in Costa Rica, I ran out of books to read. I blasted through my books during my flights and layovers and early mornings when I couldn't sleep and he could. We visited a coffee shop we loved several times while in La Fortuna and they had a free bin of books. Josh was feeling a little deprived of the Olympics while we were gone and they had a television playing coverage constantly, so while he watched highlights of the mens basketball team, I read The Klone and I. I knew it would be bad, but I was hoping for a little flash of what I used to enjoy. And maybe a threesome between the heroine, her lover and his clone. Something entertaining like that! This book is ridiculous, but I feel ridiculous typing such an obvious statement. Bits of the same old formula gave me momentary bits of nostalgia (Hey New Yorkers, is the restaurant 21 the place to see and be seen? Her characters' lovers have been taking them there to show off for years.) This woman had to lose what she thought she would always have and then, once she'd given up on ever finding love again, find an even better love. Check, check, check! Then she had to resist the hell out of him. I finally read between her lines, now that I'm an adult Danielle Steel reader, that she must have rape fantasies. There's no other explanation.Once she lets her guard down and accepts it, the klone shows up. Her beau, who works in bionics and drives a Jaguar and wears white jeans and Gucci loafers, has developed a klone of himself and sweetly sends him in his place while he's on business. A klone is apparently an android of some sort, with wires in his neck but real human flesh, somehow kept alive despite a lack of a heartbeat, even while his head is taken off during his downtime. (She has obviously never read sci-fi.) The problem (or the bonus) is that this klone's kinks have not been worked out. The real man acts like Cousin Larry and the clone acts like Balki Bartokomous, should Balki ever wear skin tight, lime green Versace pants and a black mesh shirt with a diamond peace sign necklace, made especially for him by Cartier. The clone is a slippery little devil, taking his master's American Express card and going nuts--buying her rubies, buying himself leopard print g-strings and having the silver Jaguar painted yellow with red wheels. This guy is out of control! But he brings out her wild side, impresses her children and falls in love with her, causing her pause about which "man" she really should be with. He knows he's in love because his neck wires hurt.Here is why Danielle Steel is a dork, if I haven't convinced you by now. She tries to portray both "men" as great lovers, with the real man being more tender and naturally sexy but the clone being outright kinky and dangerous in the sack. She is so vanilla, though, that the only kinkiness she can muster is acrobatic in nature. The first time she and the klone "do it," he surprises her with a move called The Double Flip. Mid-coitus, they tumble through the air, defying gravity, with him landing on his back and her neatly on top. Her beau, calling to check in, is very upset about this dangerous stunt, telling her that if he suggests The Triple Flip or Quadruple Flip, she needs to say no! It's too dangerous! He's jealous, of course, but he continues to send the klone when he's on business because she can't be expected to live without him for 2 weeks while he's gone. She does not resist the Triple, or the Quadruple flip, though. Oh no. They do it every night, all night. Such ecstacy! Flip, flip, flip! Tumble, fly! SOAR! Crash! Come on, Danielle! This is not erotic. Just have him stick a finger in her asshole, or something! I will not spoil the ending for you. You're welcome. When I got to the ending, I hated myself, but every reader is different! Which lover would you choose?

[b] The Klone and I [/b] Danielle Steel 2 starsI have never read anything by Danielle Steel before. I was expecting some kind of brain candy along the lines of Jackie Collins/ Shirley Conran / Jilly Cooper, which I'm not ashamed to admit I enjoy from time to time. This was not at all what I was expecting!It started off OK, apart from the irritating first person - long marriage goes to pot out of the blue, husband leaves for the cliched bimbo, she picks herself up and moves on, meets a nice guy, that the sulky daughter dislikes...Then the new, somewhat staid new man goes away on business, and the story gets utterly ridiculous. I think Versace will be turning in his grave if he gets wind of what Paul Klone is doing to his label. Much is said about Steel's books being 'sexy', this was not. I wasn't sure if I was meant to laugh, cry or facepalm at the stupidity of the descriptions of clone sex. Maybe 14 year old sci-fi readers would like it, but it just seemed stupid to me. Maybe it wasn't the best book to read by her, because I have never once heard anyone say she writes weird love triangle with robots novels...It would take some serious convincing to make me read anything else by Steel based on this...This was given to me, I have to say that in future books given to me by this person, may well end up being used for those cute projects on Pinterest that are made of old book pages...

What do You think about The Klone And I (1999)?

This is one of those books that scarred me for life... I read it when I was a teenager and 10 years down the line I still can't think about it without cringing a little, without dying a little...I robots as much as the next person but REALLY????The characters were annoying and only relatable in the sense of being THE WORST any of us can be... But the heroine really stole the crown jewels when it came to being just yukhNot only was she petty philanderer (coz honestly I'm not exactly ms.judgy judge) she was just plain boring ... she had NOTHING nice or interesting or likable about her .. and by the end I was just wishing that the clone would short - circuit and fry her
—Fanta Kay

This had been on my shelf for ages and as I am having a bit of a clear out I decided to get it read so it could go in the 2nd hand shop box. Well...that part of the plan hasn't changed. ..So, on the box I was told to expect a love triangle and a wickedly funny read. Umm...while there were three in the relationship it didn't come across as much of a love triangle to me and I don't think I laughed once.So, our heroine Steph has been left by her husband if 13 years who apparently no longer loves her and has taken up with a big boobed blonde. Steph proceeds to turn her life around, wear makeup all the time, lose weight etc etc. And then Peter, sexy everything her ex isn't, enters the scene along with his clone (or Klone) Paul, and this is when the laughs are supposed to start. That didn't happen. Peter sends Paul to Steph to keep her 'amused' while he is away on business - as you do - of course thinking it is all one big joke Steph doesn't realise that Paul isn't Peter at first.Steph and her inner Peter/Paul conflict annoyed me. She had no self control where Paul was concerned and she was very flimsy with keeping to any decisions she made regarding him.I won't give away the ending but I will say that I felt very disappointed by Steph's attitude.
—Alexandria

I absolutely hate when I get my hopes too high for a book, and that’s exactly what happened with The Klone And I. Worst book ever. For a renowned writer, she sure as hell didn’t make this book much appreciated by her fans. If my mother didn’t assure me there were better stories, I would say that Danielle Steele’s books aren’t for me anymore.The main character resembled a 14-year-old teenager who just experienced a crush for the first time ever. Even her daughter was more mature than her. I am writing this review around three days after reading the book and I already forgot the story. There are three types of books to me: a)the books that are too exceptional to forget; b)the books that aren't bad but not exceptional neither and c) the ones that are too mediocre for you to forget about, so mediocre that they mark you for life. This book fits in the c category.Reading through the lines gave me a heavy headache and I had to force myself to finish reading it. Too many unnecessary descriptions. Too many words. Too many frills. Too many too many s. I can’t even write a proper review my brain has been atrophied by the poor writing, the mediocre story that this book was. I’ve never felt this at loss for words. I’m done. I’ve got nothing else to say. Drab. Boring. Uninteresting. Mediocre. One star for the sake of rating it.
—Kika

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