The combination of the two kept me calm and centered. It helped to remind me that I’m still alive. I’ve never made good choices growing up. Never. I did things. Bad things. And I’ve seen even worse. I hated the memories that I’ve put in my head, never being able to let them go. Never being able to forget. I’ll never be able to do enough good things in my life to offset all the bad shit I’ve done. I wasted my life away. All those years wasted, with no chance of changing them. Until last year. I decided that after the events of the day, I needed two cigarettes. It was also a bonus of staying outside so I could listen to the conversation happening on the porch. Half the time Latch and Jaxon forget I’m even here. I knew things I shouldn’t know but it wasn’t like I could tell anyone. No communication. No reception, not even cable television.
