“Hey, Jenn. Sorry I’m late. Conference call ran over.”“Hey, girl.” My best friend bit at her lip, leaving an edge of red on her teeth. “You gonna be mad at me if I cancel on you tonight?”Even though I cringed at the thought of spending Friday night alone – again – I kept my face impassive and looked straight ahead at the dark suits, almost identical to mine, scrambling by outside. “Depends on why you’re canceling. We were going to try the new Asian fusion place.”Her uncomfortable tone, blanketed by a thick, fluffy Southern drawl, crawled around my ears. “Um. Something came up.”“Was it a penis?”“Claire!”“What? I’m pretty sure I’m right. Right?”“Well, what happened was…”Oh God. This was gonna be big. Significant. Big, significant penis. I was already picturing my phallus-free evening: A glass of wine while I sat on my couch and watched reruns of Frasier. Jee-zus. I imagined having sex with Kelsey Grammer’s sitcom alter ego. Even in the heat of passion, he would call my pussy a vulva.
