When he said he had been waiting for me, I wanted him. I wanted him badly, but I couldn’t do it. I knew better. I cursed myself, over and over, as I worked myself to get the release that Lansing built up in me. I didn’t like to give myself relief, but sometimes I had to. I couldn’t even remember when the last time was that I had sex. It was after Josh, but before Fleur. A rebound rock star that I didn’t regret, but he hadn’t made me forget Josh like I had hoped. I was hopeless at the moment. I was falling for the wrong kind of guy, again. I had planned to avoid Lansing, but he seemed to be around more and more. He often played guitar in his room, always keeping the door open. He had a doctor’s appointment with Elaine Corbin, and I was relieved to be able to spread my things across the coffee table in his living room while Fleur took a nap. I needed to study for my history of photography final. I could use the quiet, although the silence only made my mind wander back to the other night.
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