The servants and people of the household wandered about like ghosts. We were lost. David was twenty by then, and Hugh eighteen, but they joined Robin in looking after me, spending all their time in my company without a word of complaint and seeing to my needs with the dedication of nursemaids. In truth, I believe that their concern for me gave them something other than grief to dwell on, and an excuse to cluster together; for we craved one another’s warmth in the coldness that seemed to have sunk over the Hall. I never ventured into Mother’s gardens. I could not bear the sight of them. The plants were dying, withering away into crumbled mould, succumbing to insects, parasites and fungi. They couldn’t live without her. Neither could we. We barely saw Father. He seemed to have forgotten he had children. Gone was the dedicated ruler I knew, the hearty and sometimes affectionate father my brothers loved. Perhaps it was only after Mama had gone that he realized how much he had loved her; or perhaps regret for all the harsh words between them haunted him.
