Voluntary Madness: My Year Lost And Found In The Loony Bin (2014) - Plot & Excerpts
They were ready to take me in, Mary Jane informed me, but someone upstairs was apparently “very upset,” so I was waiting out the tantrum downstairs. A voice on the loudspeaker, which was very tame and dulcet as loudspeakers go, said calmly, “CIT second floor. CIT second floor.” I heard this designation again once or twice during my stay. Crisis Intervention Team. But it was for other floors, so I didn’t see who came. I imagined they wore dark red or dark green blazers and ties, like offertory ushers in church. Sitting there waiting, I began again, as I often did when the depression got to this point, to get stuck in a spiral of thought. There was nothing else to do, so I was asking myself all the kinds of confused philosophical questions I always asked myself when I felt done for. How does a person get here? To the point of commission, I mean. Is it a failure of will? Of discipline?
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