What To Expect The Toddler Years (1994) - Plot & Excerpts
I received the 1994 edition of this book second-hand, and I'm happy I didn't pay for it. While "What to Expect While You're Expecting" is recognized as a valuable book for expectant mothers, I find this sequel to be more alarmist than helpful for parents of toddlers.While I expect to both agree and disagree with any parenting book, when I'm reading this one, I more often disagree. It's possible that newer editions have changed the advice given, but in this edition, the authors recommend the Ferber method of teaching children to sleep by themselves. That method has also been called the "cry it out" method, because it depends on allowing the child to cry for longer and longer periods each night in order to teach them to go to sleep. For many reasons, this method has been highly criticized, and without getting into a lengthy discussion, it just feels wrong to me.In the same way, the book makes assumptions about weaning babies at a year (which is fine when the baby is ready for it but unfair to babies who are slower adapting to solid food). Those who believe in baby-led weaning will find themselves feeling like outsiders while reading this book.The book is divided by month (12th month, 13th month, et cetera), and each chapter includes FAQs related to concerns from that month. This ends up giving the book an advice column feel and tends to emphasize the negatives. Rather than including a couple paragraphs on "diapering difficulties," for example, why not call the section "diapering" and deal with both issues related to diapering as well as positive advice for choices that parents might consider (such as cloth diapers versus disposables, for example)? The result of this endless string of answers for "problems" not only feels haphazard but also conveys the opinion that parenting is troublesome and that this book is a first-aid kit or life raft. Rather than seeing this book as a lifesaver, I found myself frequently frustrated by the advice given, as if I'd been handed a child's water-wing instead.
Some parts are good. I like the "By this age your child may do... should do..." insets, the age-based chapters and the generally straightforward factual style, but as I dipped in and read portions I found parts that were downright alarming, and which reminded me why I threw away the "When You're Expecting" book.For example (and I realize my copy is older so this may have been removed later): unless your family has a very rare or dangerous genetic disorder, I don't believe there is any reason to even think about testing or monitoring your toddler's cholesterol. Ever.There were a couple of other things along those lines, where a rare possibility is discussed as if every parent needs to account for it, but I can't remember more examples, though at least one was dangerous and the other was fear-mongering. The one above just blew my mind.So read with caution, and certainly be careful if you pick up an old copy.
What do You think about What To Expect The Toddler Years (1994)?
I'm a sucker for the question-answer format of any parenting book, and this one asked most of the questions I had about "why the hell is my kid doing what he's doing." Lots of great resources in the back of the book, like a list of common kid diseases and ailments--and I appreciated them telling me which ones I should freak out about and which ones I shouldn't. Also, reading some of the questions that I *didn't* have made me feel better about my own kid. Like, "how do I get my kid to stop biting/hitting," is luckily something I didn't have to read about and made me think of my own kid as a little angel ;)
—Amy
I just found out through the help of this book and a friend, (Thank you!) My son is probably allergic to cows milk but he could out grow it by two years. The doctors gave some poor advice and it might have gone unnoticed and I might have made it worse. So trust your maternal instincts. There are a lot of helpful things in this book about the stages of your child's development. I don't agree with everything in it(opinions) but I have found it very helpful! Yay! My son out grew his milk allergy! The doctor said I could reintroduce it. So I think this book is a little too American for my American self. The world health organization says nurse till the age of two encouraging nursing longer. This book has some misinformation and encourages weaning at one. Most Americans don't make it to one. I love America. I just strongly advise mothers not to give up and to research nursing in other sources than this book. Try this site... http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean... to be continued...
—Ruby
Helpful info, but I didn't read it cover-to-cover. At this age (Michael is 17 mos.), babies are so different that many of the issues in the book didn't apply to me/Mikey. The sections that did apply were helpful. The "What your Child Should Be able to Do" section for each month was useful in both reassuring me that Michael is on target for the skills he should have and showed me a few more things that I should start working on with him soon. So, from that standpoint, the book does help provide moms with some direction as to what the next development should be so that we can work with our babies.
—Clare
