monologue was removed from the first pages of the 1998 draft, the revised first chapter began with the discarded subplot mentioned above. This subplot involves a deadbeat dad named Leonard Souza whose wife has retained the Surfing Detective to collect delinquent child support. Souza has not only failed to support his own children, but has also taken up with barely a child himself, cohabiting with her in a rusting fishing boat at the Ala Wai Yacht Harbor in Honolulu. The confrontation that results when the PI serves papers on the deadbeat was intended as a day-in-the-life vignette. But it was thought to draw away too much attention from the main plot. The piece was later published as a short story entitled “Hijinks Aboard the Hōkūlani” in Spirit of Aloha (March/April 2008), the in-flight magazine of the now defunct Aloha Airlines, and in a double issue of Hawai‘i Review: A Special Tribute to Ian MacMillan (Vol. 28-9; No. 1-2; 2008). Note that in this early draft Kai was not merely hānaied, as in the published version, but is part-Hawaiian.
