I was beyond crying, falling straight into a sadness so penetrating that it numbed me. I remained where I lay contemplating what had just occurred. The loss of a relationship, however strange it might have been, was gut wrenching. I’d had so few in my life that I wasn’t in a position to squander them. I was homeschooled and did virtually nothing outside of that. My parents chaperoned everything I did and never really encouraged me to make friends. I would say that I’d always had acquaintances, but never really anyone who was closer than that. I never had sleepovers, went to the movies, stayed up all night on the phone talking about boys, or dated. I lived with my parents while I was an undergrad at Dartmouth College. Aside from classroom interaction, I really didn’t know anyone on campus or do any of the typical “college” things like get knock-down drunk only to do the walk of shame the next morning, eat pizza at four a.m. because you could, or saran wrap someone’s toilet.
