These feelings are perfectly normal, I am told by Jimmy Ray DeHavre in A Regular Guy’s Guide to Rugrats. He’s monopolizing your wife’s funbags, your funbags, sucking all the fun out of them (he’s already plowed her love canal into the Chunnel); he’s done something to your wife’s brain, making her a baby slave with no time or inclination to service your needs; he’s a crap factory, he’s crying every goddam second, and you haven’t slept in five days: of course you want to kill him. But don’t. It’s against the law. (p. 29) My wife bought the book, though I doubt she has read it. There is much in it with which she would disagree. I haven’t slept in 234 days. According to www.askdrsam.com, I should be experiencing auditory and tactile hallucinations, severe motor and mental impairment, irritability, and death. But, more likely, you have slept. Perhaps you have fallen into micro-sleep for periods lasting up to several seconds without noticing. Or perhaps you have fallen asleep and dreamt that you were awake and unable to fall asleep.
