“My assistant told me the cunt was calling,” Felicia said by way of introduction, “but I didn’t believe even you would have the fucking gall to call me.” Felicia sounded pleased with herself. The old Tess would have taken the bait, given her a snarky riposte, and slammed down the phone. But this is the new and improved Tess. The patient, charming Tess. The graduate of the school of how to win friends and influence people. “Felicia, when you talk like that, you get me hot,” I replied through gritted teeth. “Really, you do. I’m fanning myself right now. I’m going to swear off men from now on, because there’s nothing like a Spanish girl cursing at me to turn me on.” “Fuck off.” “See? If I were wearing panties, I’d be taking them off.” “What do you want, Tess?” Okay, charm wasn’t working. Once upon a time, Felicia and I had traded dirty jokes and sex stories over drinks every month. No more. Time to try another approach. “I want to grovel in abject submission, Felicia.
