Except, I was invited to this party, and I chose not to go. I only had myself to blame. And there’s nothing worse than that.Courtney brought me some porcelain blue dish towels she bought in Cannes as a thank-you gift—or was it an “I’m sorry” gift?—for watching her cat, and Jody had pictures of Dustin to show me. He looked thinner, and somehow older, not like I remembered. It was becoming more and more difficult to remember our lives together, to remember what a “normal marriage” is like. Some nights I woke in a panic, wondering if I remembered the smell of Dustin’s hair, the sound of his voice, or the mole next to his lip. On the nights I couldn’t, that’s when I cried. Would we even know each other at the end of this?Jody watched the boys while I went to the hospital for my follow-up appointment with Dr. Ashley. I had asked Courtney to do the favor—after all, her cat did attack me!—but she refused, saying she would no longer take part in my “disreputable behavior,”
