We just didn’t have enough in common, which sounds amazing when you consider our work. I tried to get him talking about all the research that goes into authenticating a picture – or damning it to the ‘School of’ category, of course. He just wanted me to pull identification rabbits out of a hat he didn’t even have with him. Was this how professional comedians felt, honour-bound to make people laugh all the time? At least I had a good excuse not to snog him: I didn’t dare catch his flu, I said, when he tried it on, because of passing bugs on to Griff. Since he knew I was mates with Helen and Brian, he could hardly admit he’d just pulled a sickie because he wanted a nice long weekend. He did offer to drive me home but since he’d drunk enough for me to worry he might be over the limit I insisted on walking. Last time I’d done that, of course, I’d had to take refuge in the takeaway and then had the nasty shock of seeing our cottage lit up like Blackpool illuminations; this time, my walk was quiet and uneventful, and our security nicely undisturbed.
