He lied to me. How am I supposed to know who he really is if he can’t be truthful? He promised no secrets yet kept a huge one from me. His promises were worthless. Time and time again I had given him an opening, a point where he could have come clean. Yet he didn’t. Instead he always blamed me for pushing him away, for reading too much into things, for not trusting him. He’d won. It didn’t take me long to trust him wholeheartedly and as it turns out, I shouldn’t have. I’d accepted that I wouldn’t get the ‘happily ever after’ and then he came along and showed me what I was missing. Joel made me feel whole and then tore my heart out. It had all been a fantasy. He broke my trust. My phone rang and I wiped at my eyes to read the screen, disappointed when I saw Ally’s name instead of Joel’s. Even though I’d told Raelene to tell him to give me space, it disappointed me that he hadn’t called. I didn’t want to speak to him but at the same time I needed comforting and Joel was still the one I wanted to turn to for that comfort. How fucked up is that?
