Therese was offered a job as a choreographer in England, which she immediately accepted. I had no option but to carry on training by myself, in the hope that I would be able to secure a second interview the following year. I knew that there were other places my dancing could have taken me, but I had had my sights set on the Vaganova. Getting in would teach me that I was capable of something special; that all the extra effort I had put in had been worthwhile. It would prove that Bruna was wrong. It would show my father that I had achieved something special, given all the investment he had put in. I also would be achieving something that I knew my mother would have been very proud of. This was to be my time in the wilderness, and I know you are aware of how difficult and yet necessary that time is. In your last letter you asked me how I could have felt gratitude towards my father, despite his support, given that he didn’t confront Bruna. I can see that when explaining the intricacies of how another family works it is often impossible to justify them.
