Chapter 1 the curse of the flaky buttmunch “So can I take your name, please?” “It’sh Ronnish ... ,” I tell the nurse, sniffing back tears, smudging foundation on the keypad of my mobile phone. “Ronnidge?” confirms the nurse. “No, Ronn-eee ... I’m Veronica Ripperton,” I say meekly. “Okay ... and is that Miss or Mrs. er, Flipperhorn?” “Ripperton,” I repeat, dabbing my eyes. “Look, this isn’t about me anyway. It’s about my, er, friend. Well, he’s my boyfriend. I need to know if he’s in your emergency ward.” “Can I take his last name?” replies the nurse. I can hear pages being flicked and a long, faint exhale of breath. As the nurse begins searching her logbook, I catch sight of my sorry self in the living room mirror. What a fright. It’s 7 P.M., Friday night, and I, Veronica Ripperton, am pacing the floorboards upstairs at the Fantastic Voyage pub. I’m wearing my most fantastic “makes yer boobs look like a proper rack,” pale pink, clingy T-shirt (now mascara stained) and my intensely snazzy “entire month of pocket money in one card swipe”
What do You think about Live And Fabulous! (2010)?
