Honestly, I was scared to death about it. I really wanted to have kids the natural way, where each child would be half of Scarlet and half of me, but I would accept it if it couldn’t happen. I just didn’t want Scarlet to go through that. I’d known her long enough to understand she would place the blame on herself. She’d feel horrible and never let it go. For that reason, I hoped everything was okay. And if it wasn’t, I hoped it was a problem with me, not her. Losing a child once was hard enough. I didn’t think I could go through that again. When my wife cried in my arms, in insufferable pain, I felt weak and pathetic. There was nothing I could do to make it better. I couldn’t throw money at it and make it go away. I failed her as a husband. I should have ensured she was completely stress free. I made her upset on a daily basis, I pushed her too far, and she suffered through the ordeal I called my mother. I’d hate myself forever.
