Christmas of 1985 was approaching. The city was bathed in candy canes and spray-on snow. Mum and Dad had sent us a Christmas card with money in it and I couldn’t have asked for a better present. I toyed with the idea of paying up our growing cocaine debt to Vivien, but that didn’t seem terribly joyful or triumphant. Deep down I wanted to use the money for a couple of train tickets to the Gold Coast. But Billy was working and we were helplessly dependent on one another; we couldn’t bear the idea of being apart over Christmas. This dependence didn’t feel like passionate love anymore. It felt like claustrophobia. My infidelity had eaten away at Billy’s self-esteem and he remained on high alert. I understood his insecurity. After all, I had inflicted it. But I felt like I was under constant surveillance. Worse, the paranoia worked both ways. I was in the red and he was in the black – he might have been plotting payback adultery. No way could I leave him behind for Christmas.
What do You think about One Way Or Another (2012)?
