Pirate Dave And His Randy Adventures (Career Ending Romance Spoof) - Plot & Excerpts
It was smelly and dark. Soon, they promised she would be allowed to roam freely. Of course, she had to promise not to kill or maim anyone. That would be trying, but she could certainly give it her best effort. She would have agreed to almost anything to escape the depressing solitude of the brig. Sure, she’d had a steady stream of horny idiots visit her, but the one she most desired failed to make an appearance. He was busy with her sister . . . She smiled. Once free, she’d put an end to that. “Your hooters are mouthwatering,” Captain Crunchy gushed. Laverne rolled her eyes and bitch-slapped Captain Crunchy, knocking out two of his gold teeth. She was tired of playing second fiddle to his blow-up doll Susan. He screamed like a little girl, grabbed his plastic lover, and left. What was a formerly conjoined twin to do? Ironically life without her sister, even though she hated her, was lonely. Laverne smoothed her wild red locks and gingerly scratched her nether regions. That bastard Long Dong Silver had definitely given her something.
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