The gulf between our lives was wider than any of us wanted to admit. I could no longer relate to their endless discussions about work, paying off mortgages and boyfriend issues. Rehab was the only issue many would ask me about. I think they thought that ‘normal’ topics would elicit too much grief and they perhaps didn’t want to remind me of what I no longer had. To make things worse, in unfamiliar surroundings my physical limitations were more noticeable. Even when I couldn’t hear their conversations I mirrored others’ nods and laughs to seemingly fit in for their sake, but I’d hold in my tears. They were drifting away from me. Many of my friends were getting engaged, married or were pregnant, so my social life became about celebrating their milestones. Big social events were a nightmare. At times I’d be left by my walking frame in the same spot the entire night. Often I’d be standing next to no one, forcing myself to aimlessly flick through my phone as if I was busy. Or I was left sitting beside my friend’s grandparent, who complained about the blaring noise, their hip pain and the youth of today.
