When Nathan ditched me at the charity event, I felt small, weak, and pathetic. The pain crushed me on all sides and I felt hopeless. The tears poured and burned my skin like acid. But it was nothing compared to this. How did I not see this coming? How did I not understand how River really felt? I never would have slept with him if I’d known it meant something more to him. River was one of my closest friends and I confided everything to him. I cared about him. I would never hurt him intentionally. Not having him in my life was unbearable. The few days where he ignored me and fell off the face of the planet was difficult to swallow. I tried to track him down everywhere but he was nowhere to be found. To be cut out like this, to be dropped, was excruciating. He was all I could think about. Every moment of the day I was wondering what he was doing. Did he still hate me? Or did he hate me even more with every passing day?
