The only thing that helped me get Gretchen off my mind was wearing myself out with a workout. Until this point, I'd been going to the gym three times a week. That was all I had to do to maintain the level of fitness I thought was reasonable. It had been nearly three months since we made the trip to Vegas, and my workouts had grown increasingly more frequent since then. I worked a lot and had a few social outings here and there, but I used any remaining free time to work out. I was also eating clean, which meant I was feeling really good. The physical boost I felt from my recent routine was the only thing that helped me find balance for an ever-growing lack of something else in my life, but the subject of what I didn't have wasn't something I usually dwelt on. I did my best to put those thoughts out of my head. I looked at myself in the mirror one morning in mid December, thinking how cool it was to see the results from my diet and exercise.