He’s only just dozed off, but I’ve watched as his eyelids have gotten heavier and heavier, his blinks slower and slower. I can’t blame him, it’s nearly four in the morning. I’d be exhausted too if I wasn’t so anxious to get this all out. I feel like we’ve been dancing around in circles for the last hour, for every step we take towards the truth, we take another step back into the past. But the memories of our time together are all still there, and it makes me smile to think of them, talk to him about them all. I’m glad Jared still remembers them, and they can still bring a smile to his face. They’re all that’s gotten me through the last year. I reach over and switch off the lamp, my body stretching over Jared’s in the process. He doesn’t wake, but his fingers tighten in mine as though he thinks I’m leaving and they don’t want to let me go. I keep our hands together, holding my breath as my body rests lightly against his for just a second, hoping he doesn’t wake up.
