Glad to report the kids are back at school and my lunch service has resumed. I am growing chubby but have no regrets at all. There are some days when Suman doesn’t show up at my cottage. When she does, she never talks about what has kept her away, and even though I am tempted to ask, I feel uncertain about prying. I know for sure now that there is something not quite right about the state of affairs in the Dharma household. But I am not clear what it is.October 3. The light is low and golden and the shadows long. The leaves have turned and it’s nippy. There is an air of regret hanging over everything. I find myself heaving great big sighs all the time. I think I need a break from this writing solitude to reconnect with my own life for a bit. Perhaps over the Christmas break a visit with my brothers and my nephews—nice, uncomplicated kids would be a pleasant change. I need to see Mummy, too—not that she has any idea who I am. It hurts me to see her like that—so frail and lost.October 16.
