Reliving my past was a punishing experience and as I clutched my coffee cup I was aware that everything remained the same – my cold coffee; the May Contain Nuts contract; spilled sugar still glittered like a sweet constellation – yet everything was different. I was different – or the same. I was Frank again. My beautiful barista came over and asked if I was OK. She explained that I’d been laughing hysterically and freaking out people in the café. I noticed her hips, so invitingly wide, and her slight belly bent out towards me. In a daze I heard myself ask, ‘Do you know of a place that doesn’t have lawyers?’ She looked at me meaningfully and said, ‘How do you mean?’ ‘A place without lawyers, without contracts, a place where people aren’t always protecting their own backs, maybe a place where people don’t even speak English.’ ‘Oh, right,’ she said. ‘Yeah, I know just the place. I went to Majorca last summer and half the bloody people there didn’t even speak any English.
What do You think about Terms & Conditions (2014)?
