The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Families (1998) - Plot & Excerpts
I’ve resisted the Stephen Covey bandwagon: his particular presentation doesn’t appeal to me. His books – to me – read a bit too much like tracts. And the sappy stories and drawings kind of freak me out. I have an overall sense that he is restraining his desire to preach, to lead me to salvation, to shout ‘AMEN!’ But I won’t for one single second deny that he has an unusual insight and wisdom pertaining to success and purpose. So I read The Seven Habits for Families. There is a lot in here. So much so that I think this is almost better used as a reference book – something to page through every now and then to mull over for a few days. From my vantage the real value of the book comes in the first few chapters when Covey explores the stimulus-pause-response cycle. Something happens – a child breaks a vase or a dad gets a bonus and we have an inclination to act. Act now. To be in the moment, so to speak. Covey takes some pages to show that this space between action and response is where we are able to direct our futures. Our decisions about how to respond set up our future circumstances. It’s a cycle that we can use to point our lives in a direction of our choosing. Through the rest of the book he focuses on the Seven Habits with applications for families: priorities, relationships, family and personal growth. He spends a good amount of time on the family business plan: putting together a real document that outlines a family’s core principles, priorities, and goals. Take this with a grain of salt and adjust it to your family situation. Other reviewers point out that a family is not a business or a sports team. True enough. But the truism sums it up: it’s easy to get there when you don’t know where you are going. The family plan is an opportunity to talk about what is important and to set common goals. Nothing has to be written in stone. Real business plans certainly aren’t. They set goals and develop plans for how to reach them and then, at regular intervals, assess how they are doing and make requisite changes. I was impressed that Covey stresses that this is not something that is to be churned out in a weekend by dad – it’s not a rule book. He cautions that everyone in the family must be able to take the time they need to think hard about how they and their desires fit into the family. It’s clear to me that the plan is well in play when you simply start thinking about it. The book settles nicely into Covey’s folksy, ah shucks writing style. It’s easy to read and easy to digest. Some will call it wishful thinking – this is the new millennium after all. Families look different, entertainment looks different, you can have an electronic pet if you prefer. But I think Covey would say that we still want the same thing: parents want their children to grow up to be kind and respectful. We want to enjoy meaningful time with our family and friends. Children want to be understood and listened to. Though the times change human nature remains the same. People come to these kinds of books with different expectations. For some the book will provide a few useful tips for navigating your family toward a known goal. Others will find it a godsend of wisdom. I find it hard to imagine a family that couldn’t benefit from a reading of the Habits for Families.
I read this as an audiobook which turned out to be a mistake. It's just too hard to absorb the ideas when you are driving, and I wanted to make notes and had to settle for voice memos. When I do a reread, as I should, I will read the paper or e-version.That said, it was a sound book with a lot of good suggestions. We are actively working on our family dynamics so that we can bring our a-game in anticipation of another child, and this book gave my husband and I a lot of good talking points. I think that's the key to any self-help book like this: you're not going to change just from reading them, but you'll walk away with ideas and things to discuss with your partner, and that's where the change slowly seeps in. See, even "change" is too strong a word because it implies a problem, and you don't need to have a problem to get something from this book. It's more like adding a weight-lifting program to your fitness regime so that you can tone existing muscles. This helps you tone your family structure.The 7 habits for my own reference are:1. Be proactive: rather than reactive2. Establish a written family or personal mission statement: Ok yes, this sounds cheesetastic, and no, we haven't done it yet, BUT it is an interesting discussion to talk about what you each think your family's core mission is. Why are you a family unit? What are you hoping to achieve? 3. Put first things firstYour family is first and should be a top priority. Really, actually schedule it on the calendar and treat it like a business meeting. The time is filled, you can't schedule anything else there. This is such a great suggestion, and one we've already put into practice. I had to turn down a fun invitation this Friday because I'd already committed to a storytime with my son. It was on the calendar, so I had that time blocked out for him, and I knew it was a priority for us.4. Think "win-win"Boy, isn't this life with a toddler? Every day we try to give him choices (so he feels independent) that we can live with (so we get what we need too). It seems that this extends into older children and family life.5. Seek first to understand, then to be understoodI loved this one. One thing Covey said that I had to record was that when you love someone, you must love the things they love as much as you love the person themself to truly accept that person. 6. "Synergize"Find a way to foster family unity through differences, not in spite of.7. "Sharpen the saw"Continually work on these 7 things (Covey offers the analogy of a person sawing for two hours to chop down a tree when someone asks if they have tried sharpening the saw. "are you crazy? I can't stop for that!")
What do You think about The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Families (1998)?
I don't know how this book got on my kindle, but I am glad that I took the time to read it. I have never read the first book by Stephen Covey, but must say that I quite enjoyed this book and the habits that are presented here for making your family the most important in your life and the most successfully you can. I really like how this book starts out by talking about how we are off course 90% of the time in the family, and we must constantly work to get things back on track. This is a great reference book and one that I want to get my hands on so that I can write in it, highlight it, and make notes. I will definitely be rereading this book as I wasn't fully ready for all of the guidance given here. I highly recommend this book to everyone, single, married or otherwise.
—JC
Hehe..kebetulan kat rumah ada, so berpeluang nak baca HEP dulu :). Then jumpa yg utk family which is cooler cause it's a publication of Covey's family, it feels friendlier. Nak recommend satu siri, "living the 7 habits" yang tu is about real stories people everywhere relate to the 7 habits, but I haven't seen it here, kena beli dekat kampung halaman :D it's like a better version of chicken soup for the soul :D
—Gongju
Even though I've had a lot of guides on how to raise a family correctly, this book gives specific ideas and slightly different concepts that really changed my way of viewing family relationships. I definitely want the type of family he describes and am excited to start a plan with my hubby to make it happen. I loved all the anecdotes and experiences included in the book (written by his children and other people who embraced the 7 Habits). To me they give specific examples of how I can apply the 7 habits in my life...which is often lacking in self-help books that are too general.I recommend that every person who is part of a family read this book!! (you'll want to read this one too. My husband started the audio version and even though it says it's unabridged...it doesn't have everything the book has, which to me, is abridged).
—Ashley
