How will anyone get married now, with no wall of water behind them? How will Over Niagara Falls in a Barrel marry Across Niagara Falls on a Tightrope? Over the Falls would have worn a veil, Across the Falls would have tied a tie, hand in hand they would have poured down the aisle to the sound of rustling silks. Later they would narrow to a lovely neck, later they would make a gentle elbow in the water, later they would pour into a still round pool, and dance for three minutes to what they called music. Niagara Falls is a family member. He is drunk for the first time in a hundred years. “I don’t call that music I call that noise,” would have screamed Niagara Falls, right through his aquiline family nose. All of Niagara’s ex-lovers are here. The World’s Steepest Dive stands up and says, “I’ve been diving so long now, and when will I hit? When will you be there for me, Niagara?” First Woman Behind the Falls stands up so everyone can see her, so everyone can see what has happened to her looks.
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