Alison Hopkins receives the shock of her life while hosting a dinner party. She sends her boyfriend out to get mustard, and then he never comes back. Instead, he calls her on the phone, advising her that he has left her for his college sweetheart Kate Pearce, who, she finds out, he has been cheating on her with for months. Alison doesn’t know how to deal with this break up from a man that she thought that she was going to marry one day, and the fact that she’s completely neurotic about sex and adult relationships (thanks in big part to an evangelical Christian upbringing) makes her new found singleness even more daunting. With her wit and friends to guide her, Alison must figure out the next steps to take in her love life.I tend to skim over book reviews while I’m reading something. I know I risk being spoiled, but I’m always curious to see if other people agree with me on what I’m reading. The Big Love has gotten reviews from all sides. Some people praise Sarah Dunn, calling her the next Nora Ephron. Others label The Big Love as the most derivative kind of chick lit. My feelings are a little more middling.The Big Love is an almost good book. Almost in the fact that Sarah Dunn really knows how to bring on the funny. Some of Alison’s rambles made me laugh aloud, and as a writer who cannot write comedy, I have great respect for anyone who can. I especially like her reflections on being raised as a member of the Christian right and how that impacted her adult self. But at the same time, the writing very much felt like a debut novel. Alison’s amusing rants make up most of the pages, with characters popping in for short scenes here in there. As a result, all of the side characters feel undeveloped, especially the male ones. Also, although Alison’s opinions can be funny, it soon becomes obvious with her thoughts on relationships and men that she’s kind of a crazy person, which can make the book a little frustrating. The plot of The Big Love is strikingly similar to Jennifer Weiner’s Good in Bed. Both books tell about a woman working as a reporter, living in Philadelphia, who experiences an unexpected and dramatic breakup. The female lead must deal with her newfound singleness, professional woes, and her own issues about society’s expectations, (in Good in Bed, it was weight, in The Big Love, its sex) as well as that whole “my father abandoned me as a child” thing. Only Good in Bed take more time to tell the story, and less time on neurotic ramblings. The characters are more developed, the storyline more complex, and the main character, although at times unlikable, makes sense. This is where The Big Love falls short of other chick lit titles. The writer depends on a storyline that’s been done before, and characters that have also been done before, to tell a funny story. The funny gets across fine, but the story falls short.As you can tell from this rather long review, The Big Love was a book that left me conflicted. One chapter I’d be laughing at the funny jokes and situations, the other I’d be frustrated. This made it very difficult to come up with a rating for this book. There were a lot of things I liked, but a lot of things that just fell short.
The Big Love joins yogurt ads, spray tans, and sitcoms in the long line of terrible things that have resulted from our culture's expectations of, and regard for, women. Things I hate about The Big Love (the short list): 1.) The main character of The Big Love went to a frickin' Ivy League university and her main obsessions are marriage and why, at age 32, she has only had sex with two people in her life. Are you kidding me? OK, so, she's from a fundamentalist Christian background and argues that this has stunted her. She also seriously dated a gay man and ended up sleeping with him because she was desperate to have sex. It's understandable that she has issues. But the obsession with her lack of sexual partners is triggered by her boyfriend dumping her at the beginning of the book and she just cannot let it go, even after she has had plenty of sex (only three partners by the end of the book, oh noes, whatever will she do? THERE ARE THIRTY-TWO YEAR OLD VIRGINS ALL AROUND THE WORLD. WHO. CARES. WHO CAAAAAARES. YOU'RE THIRTY-TWO).2.) She buys into the whole stupid cliche that bisexuals are hormone raging freaks that will sex anything that moves anytime and is almost surprised when "even" her bisexual friend says bestiality is wrong. (??? How offensive.)3.) She spends like two pages talking about how she's a diagnosed narcissist. Cool story gurl.4.) She thinks there's nothing more pathetic than going into Reading Terminal Market and shopping by yourself and taking home cheese to then eat by yourself. THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCELLENT DAY. There are enough women who think they're being judged when they do things alone, so way to further reinforce codependency and spoil the fun of a day out by yourself. (Honestly? In my life I have enjoyed eating at restaurants and seeing movies alone more than I've enjoyed probably 90% of the dates I've been on.)5.) There's a pregnancy scare and a best friend's confession of undying love, each of which is explored for only about three pages, because this book is crap and it's like Dunn realized nothing was happening aside from her nauseating MC's whinging, so she just phoned in two chick lit tropes to make it seem like things were moving forward.I don't expect books to be politically correct or to reinforce my feminism. But I am soooo tired of these lazy books that buy into the "common sense" idea of what it is to be woman, dreaming about our weddings and having total fucking breakdowns in the absence of men. They're boring. They're generic. In more vulnerable times, they've actually been unhealthy for my self esteem. I am tired of it! You can't hide your laziness with "Woody Allen" "wit." Get away from me forever, Big Love!
What do You think about The Big Love (2005)?
"Haittaako jos juon itseni humalaan tänään?" kysyin."Miksi se haittaisi?""Haluan vain varoittaa seuralaisiani, kun aion juoda itseni humalaan. En halua kenenkään luulevan, että se on vahinko.""Luovut tietoisuudestasi tietoisesti.""Aivan", sanoin. "Se saatettaisiin luokitella alkoholismin oireeksi, vaikka en ole ihan varma.""Tapailin yhteen aikaan naista, joka kävi AA-kerhossa, ja hänen mukaansa kaikki mitä tein viittasi alkoholismiin.""Millaiset jutut?""No, en tiedä", Matt sanoi. "Jatkuva ryyppääminen."Hymyilin.- - -Ja niin hymyilin minäkin, useaan otteeseen kirjaa lukiessani. Siksi täydet viisi tähteä tälle "kevyehkölle hömpälle". Ja kun kirjan päähenkilö vielä kuvailee uudesta asunnostansa avautuvaa näkymää maijapoppasmaiseksi, niin aika samalla aaltopituudella tässä ollaan, juuri niinhän minäkin kuvailin aikoinaan näkymää keittiönikkunastamme.
—Viivi
Alison is a 32-year old Philadelphia columnist living with her boyfriend, Tom, of 4 years. Unfortunately, Tom decides to leave her the day of a dinner party when he goes out to get mustard and never returns. Instead, he calls her from a payphone and tells her he no longer loves her and will be with his ex-girlfriend, Kate. I like Sarah Dunn since I enjoyed "Secrets to Happiness." I wanted to try this book out as well. I somewhat enjoyed it. Alison is a bit too neurotic for me, but I found it interesting reading about her past Evangelical struggles with marriage, love, family, and sex. A virgin still at 25 to blow the v-card on a gay guy? Oh Alison. The book jumped around a little bit, and I felt it could have had easier transitions. Either way, I enjoyed it and will read her next book whenever it comes out.
—Jennifer
Alison is looking for the big love. She thought she has found it but when her boyfriend for several years leaves her during the dinner party, she has to start to consider things from different angles.Eventually Alison starts to think that does the real love, the big love, even exists. And if it does, how can you find it?The are many new, unfamiliar things Alison goes through while she is searching for the big love. She has an affair with her boss, she has sex after the first date, she feels herself betrayed, she forgives a thing she never thought she could forget and she realizes that she herself has to find the answers to her questions.I enjoyed this book but somehow I just felt that something was missing. I liked Alison as a character; she is a little silly but still very smart, she is independent and strong and funny. I think that the thing I missed the most was the absense of a gorgeous, amazing hero. I also look for those in books. But all in all, this was a funny, light read and it made me laugh a lot, which is a good thing, especially during the dark and rainy fall days.
—Milka
