He had been drunk and at the moment of ecstasy when he said them, so I knew his feelings were real. Afterwards he’d been embarrassed and keen for me to affirm my feelings and that I didn’t mind what he was into. I’d done my best to reassure him, although I didn’t really know how I felt at all, because for all my shock, and for all that I couldn’t see myself getting used to the idea of him with other men, I had to ask myself if I was really any better, what with Violet and my fantasies about being a high-class call-girl or having my bottom whipped with birch twigs? The answer was very clear – no. I would stay with him, and compromise my broken desire for the perfect Alpha male with my own less than conventional needs. There would be no sitting at home feeling lonely while he went for dinner and sex with Giles Lancaster. I would invite Violet around and have the same. Obviously we would need to be discreet, but I was beginning to realise that discretion was an essential virtue.
