And turning down Bug’s pancakes and bacon with homemade syrup is a crime. Dan and Bug both frowned when I turned down coffee as well. I told them to stop fussing. Bug made me peppermint tea then left me alone. I retreated to the front room, staring out at the sunny day. The memorial started at noon. I guess they picked the time as a statement about humans and daylight and survival. Though sunshine wasn’t guaranteed on any day in Caldwell. When it came time to get ready, my stomach was worse than ever. I wondered whether I’d make it through the ceremony without puking. But I told myself I felt like this every year and I’d be fine once it was over. I was lying. It didn’t feel this bad every year. This year I was upset and anxious, not just upset. I couldn’t shake the feeling something bad was going to happen. Apparently Smith had spooked me more than I’d realized. “You’re sure it’s okay that I’m here?” I asked Bug for the twentieth time as we descended the stairs.
