It’s hard to know why we are doing this. I mean, I know the practical reasons, and I even know the emotional reasons, I suppose. Yet still, even knowing all of that, it’s hard to feel that it makes sense to go and turn my life, and Paul’s and his family’s life, upside down. And for what? We know nothing of each other, we’re strangers. Zach says I owe Paul a chance to get to know me, and Mum has an idea that having Paul in my life will replace what I am losing in losing her. And I can see why she would think that, but the truth is that nothing can ever replace my mother. Not anything. Especially not a man who, until recently, I thought had rejected me, and for whom I have not even been a nebulous idea. And yet Mum and I are going to Paul’s house to tell him the truth, whether he likes it or not. This wasn’t how I planned it, but when I saw Mum, and saw that somehow, in the very short time since I last saw her, she has faded a little more, I knew I didn’t want to take her onto campus, where it would be crowded and confusing.
