This book was highly recommended to me and it did not disappoint! We were created for relationships, so I believe it is essential for us to come to a better understanding of how to deal with others and oneself. This book offers so much great information....I was highlighting on every other page. "Will you choose to act in ways that hinder or enhance your relationships? The choice you make will affect everything about your life.""But when I remain trustworthy to myself, I can afford to give others a whole lot of freedom in relationships. I know that others are going to forget, that they are going to have moments where they stop being trustworthy. I can live with that, however, because there’s always someone taking responsibility-me. When other people act in unsafe ways, when they get caught up in themselves, I take the most vulnerable part of me back, and I protect it. And when they regain their trustworthiness, I can say, “Let’s try this again.”"If you choose to travel the road of personal transformation, the worst that can happen is that you will end up with a life that's far more enjoyable, satisfying, fulfilling, and helpful to others than the one you had while you continued to insist on changing the other person."
I just finished listening to this book as an audio book. I am always searching for ways to be a better communicator, better friend and family member and most of all the best wife I can be. The book has alot of good information to make the reader understand their communication styles and the communication styles of others. There were many instances while listening to this book that I thought, " I do that", or "I know someone who behaves that way." The biggest thing I took away was realizing that in relationships of all kinds you need to make sure you are on the same team. You need to make sure you are not trying to beat the other person out and likewise that they are not trying to do the same to you. I guess I always knew this but hearing it just made me realize so much more about how important that is. The reason why I did not give the book 5 stars is because at times I felt that the book was a bit too lengthy and redundant in parts. I feel that it could have been condensed down just a little more and it would have definitely gotten it's point across. However,overall it is a book I would recommend.
What do You think about The DNA Of Relationships (2004)?
I am on page 91 of this book and I happened to see him on tv and was intrigued by what he had learned in his life from his children. They are a father and two sons and all are in the relationship, counseling profession. If a 60 something man can learn new things I thought it would be helpful to read and grow as well. I am challenged by his perspective and hope I can apply some of these new truths.I think I should read this one every year. I like how at the end of each chapter, he summarizes the main points.
—Karen
I struggled to finish this because it was exactly what I disliked about self-help books - it went in circles. But here was my motivation (aside from it being a reading assignment from my dad), and I quote: "Change can begin [in this country] when we start to understand God's blueprint for interpersonal connections, the DNA of relationships. When we consistently apply these principles, our relationships will begin to heal, grow strong, and become truly satisfying." "Life is relationships. The rest is just details."Amen, Dr. Smalley. Amen.
—Lysha Why (blairwaldork)
Good book for healthy marriage first, but relationships in general. Some of it is common sense (maybe depending on your upbringing) For me the best and/or most helpful sections were on taking responsibility for yourself and respecting the walls that people put up. I find myself being the one trying to break through peoples' walls, without considering that they have it up for a reason. If they want the wall, you can only offer good relationships. Ultimately they have to decide they don't want to live this way.
—Markus
