The soft pastel light of morning seeped through the window at a low angle, so it must have been very early. I lay in bed for several seconds, orienting myself to the unfamiliar feelings of warmth and comfort. Then I remembered where I was and the strange game I was caught up in. The reality was stark and cold. I sat up in bed to have a better look outside. “You awake too?” Roden asked quietly. “Couldn’t sleep any longer.” “I hardly slept at all.” There was silence for a moment, then Roden asked, “What do you think happens to those boys Conner doesn’t choose?” Neither of us lingered too long on the convenience of speaking of “those boys,” as if they were strangers. After a slow exhale, I said, “You know the answer.” Roden sighed as if he had hoped I’d have something better to offer. “The saddest thing is there won’t be anyone to miss us when we’re gone. No family, no friends, no one waiting at home.” “It’s better that way,” I said. “It’ll be easier for me, knowing my death doesn’t add to anyone’s pain.”
