After all controversy sells. Or is it “sex sells”? Well, in my next book maybe I’ll do a sex chapter too. But for now, let me be controversial. That is what I’m supposed to be. I don’t want to let anybody down. So here goes. I hate puppies and kittens. That’s right, you heard me. I think they’re stupid and ugly. And I won’t pet them or play with them, even if someone puts them on my lap. I find them repulsive and vile. Also, I abhor ice cream and I’m not even lactose intolerant. I just refuse to acknowledge its significance in society. I also despise all things that are soft: Cotton? Yuck! Fleece? Peeuuee! Oh, and children’s laughter is a turnoff to me. Children in general are creeps, the color yellow is stupid, and I hate all green things, especially trees. Shrubs are okay, I guess. They’re shorter, not as full of themselves. I dislike anything with pride or confidence. There, I’ve said it. If I’ve upset anybody, it’s too bad.
