The Throne Of The Third Heaven Of The Nations Millennium General Assembly - Plot & Excerpts
Who wouldn’t have wanted to drive you out of her, seeing how your memory, grown sharp as flint in grief, carved her face a little more every day into yours? I thought you were watching me out of her eyes, I thought every night I heard the telephone clatter to the floor again, and your daughter scream so she couldn’t stop. And for months afterward you came to me like nobody—secondhand, through a daughter’s hindsight, her unblinking, horrified love, as night after night the room filled with the dark and the air burned with your murdered presence, until I couldn’t possibly make love to the dark gold woman, vessel of your self, the torn strings of your motherhood dripping from her like an ocean where she drowned but couldn’t die. Who would drag us before some tribe of elders to be scorned, or have anything but pity on us, that we turned to other lovers and lost each other? Glenna, forgive me: tonight, in a moment of learning that is as clear and absolute as ice, and hurts as much to be inside of, I see how much like him I’ve become, the man who beat you until you died with something they never found— walking in an anger of love and hatred through these streets just as the geraniums of light around the baseball diamonds are coming on— oh, God, inside me I carry a black night you climb through like the moon in which the Asians see a woman: higher and smaller, Glenna, farther and farther away, and nothing will ever bring you back.
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