Unclean Jobs For Women And Girls - Plot & Excerpts
I am bad at dating, which is to say, I am bad at waiting for people to fall in love with me. What is the hold up? Where is the kink in the hose? Tonight, I’ve prepared mashed sweet potatoes. I’m nervous because they look like the diarrhea of a clown. When Eddie knocks, Baxter begins to growl. Baxter is my obese cat. His thyroid condition and back paw deformity prevent exercise. Baxter’s growl is low when he initially spies danger, then it gets very high if the offender does not flee. Your cat sounds like a Hank Williams song, an old boyfriend once said, but he said it while quickly leaving so it wasn’t a compliment they way it could’ve been. Tonight when I open the door, Baxter slowly crawls over to Eddie’s foot and bites. During dinner, Eddie tells me all about his job as a claims adjuster. I could care less. I don’t even eat because I’m planning on sex, and I don’t want any sloshing in my stomach or for my mouth to taste like food instead of sex. The tricky part about having sex at my apartment is Baxter, who watches on and growls while slowly crawling towards the bed, then slowly climbing up the woolly cat ramp he uses to get onto and off of the bed when I’m not home.
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