I was trying to prove all the people wrong who said we’d find it really difficult to be friends so soon. We went for a meal. At first it felt like nothing had changed, but every so often something would happen that would make it awkward. Like when his mum called and didn’t tell him to say hi to me. Or when the old man at the next table called us lovebirds. When stuff like that happened, it was like the air around us turned sad. Max got tears in his eyes at one point and I saw him trying to get rid of them without me seeing. That made it so much worse. Every time I think of him crying I am absolutely racked by guilt, because I remember him crying when I broke up with him. When he realised what I was saying and all he said was, ‘No.’ The following week I got him to come round and watch a film. Because I was nervous I ended up being really formal about it and told him that dinner was at seven and the film would commence at eight. He put his hand on my arm, and said, ‘Chill out.’ We both knew we’d in fact be eating crisps and ice-cream at random points through the night, while watching a reality dating show, because that is what we would normally do.
